I Learned from the Best

And so Asiwome’s mother always said to her; you must grow up into such a lady as gorgeous and responsible as a first lady.

Asiwome, you must do this you must do that. Okay mum, I hear you, certainly mum I hear you.
“Asi, (as her mother affectionately called her) it is so unlady-like to talk, eat, walk or even breathe that way!”

Of course mum, you are right, and I hear you, thank you. Asiwome would reply her mum frustratingly, tired of the constant nagging and boring lectures about what a lady is supposed to do and not to do.

And guess what, what a lady Asiwome grew to be! A lady of such make-up men and women alike feared and despised her. She would scream and shout at the least provocation any time; anywhere. She was notorious for being the worse late comer everywhere she found herself.

Asiwome always turned heads and raised eye brows wherever she went …. Why? ….. Her way of dressing often incurred the wrath of people especially the tongue-lashing Pentecostal brothers and sisters who would have nothing to do with such lost souls!

What a woman I have for a wife! Her husband complained constantly to friends and family. She would not behave as a lady – she rules the house, and that is that! She decides whatever happens in the house and she always has the final word. Imagine that! Her husband kept lamenting to his family and friends.

It so happened that Asiwome turned out to be such a black sheep in her society her mother wondered where her daughter picked up such an up-bringing and attitude.

“People called me Maame Dzata and they could all testify that I raised you with iron hands, not even your father could have a say in your up-bringing” her mother often complained
“Mum, I learned from the best”, Asiwome simply told her mother.

What is the best? She demanded angrily. Oh yes, mother, thanks to you I learned how to control my husband … from the way you deftly manhandled my father and everything else in the house…..remember?

Yes, everyone calls me names like ‘madam buy-no-pay’ … yes I remember so well, the hide and seek game we used to play with the people that came to demand their money while you went into hiding in the bedroom and I skillfully sent the people away with the excuse that you had travelled or taken my 119-year-old grandmother to the hospital.

I went about the false defence so well, I won the sympathy of the people chasing after their money and so they rather went away and left you some money to help you take care of “my almost 120 years old grandma”. Good job, you always said when they left … remember? …I learned from the best.

A husband beater, people call me, and you seem surprised? You never allowed daddy to have a say in the house. Your wish was his command all the time because you were the breadwinner.
Asi, you are too disrespectful, …. Remember you taught me that it was a sign of strength for a woman to be stern and difficult? … people have to fear you …. Who are those good-for-nothing folks expecting that Auntie Normesi (my dear mother) would greet or smile to them?
After all, the first lady is passing by and everyone must give way. Not that you are a snob, it only resonates your importance..... you used to justify when I asked you why you carried yourself in such a manner as though nobody was good enough to deserve your greetings in the neighbourhood.

And so mama, I learned from the best.

Our children and other young people continue to look up to us in every aspect of our lives. What we do is oftentimes a more revealing and quickly passed on lessons than what we say. Let us instill good morals in our children by setting good examples especially in this techno-advanced age where children are exposed to all forms of lifestyles in the media.

Grandma had had her say!